I'm going back to school again

I have the butterflies in my stomach.
I just bought my first day outfit.
I'm reading and highlighting the curricula.
I'm making spreadhseets.
I started having the nightmares.

Yup...I am going back to school!


This year for the first time in almost 18 months, I'm heading back to work.  I've gone back and forth about how I feel about going back a thousand times over, but now that it's really here, I feel good about it. 

My thoughts behind the decision: I knew that we were going to put Jenna in some sort of half day (without mommy) program at some point over the next few months. I think as an 18 month old, it would be good for her to have some time with other kids and with another adult.  And I couldn't rationalize staying home and having her in a half day program.  That didn't make sense to us financially or logistically. So me going back to school was the decision we made.

So we put Jenna in daycare at the beginning of August to get her (and I) adjusted to this new routine.  And I could not be happier with the results.  Jenna is so happy there. It's week 3 right now and she waves bye to me and runs into her classroom.  She came home saying her colors and tons of words that I know I did not teach her. She's in a great mood before going and in an even better mood when I pick her up. Before my eyes she turned into a little girl. 

Anway, back to me and back to school.  The past few weeks, I've been talking more about work, about my students, about my classroom, about my curriculum, about trips, and about fun things I'm going to do...and less about naps, and parks, and eating, and diapers.  I've been doing some work every morning to prepare for the school year, enjoying some me time in the afternoon, and picking Jenna up after her nap and snack.

 I get to put on my mommy hat and enjoy, really enjoy, every minute with her.  I'm finding that I'm doing a better job at making my time with her quality time.  When I pick her up, I shut my phone my computer, and my brain to everything but her.  In the morning, before I drop her off, she has all of my attention.  I actually think I may be a better mommy for it.

Yesterday, I went clothes shopping with my mom(not much of my work wardrobe fits me anymore).  I put on an outfit and I said "This is Mrs. K---.  This is not mommy." For the first time in 18 months, I have another purpose right now other than being a mommy.  Mommy will always be my number one job, but I'm looking forward to having another purpose. I love my job and I'm good at it and I'm excited to be challenged and work hard and be successful at something other than motherhood. And I like who I work with.

I saw my friends from work the other day, and it made me even more confident in my decision.  I am a lucky girl, because I work with amazing people.  They have been not only my co-workers, but my friends for a really long time.  I've grown up with these women and I know that if I'm having a bad day or miss my little girl, I'll have great support at school. 

Jenna is so happy in her school and I'm going to be so happy at mine. 

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Sorry but my kid is awesome

I'm going to apologize ahead of time because honestly, after this past weeks craziness, I am so lucky to have an easy-going, laid back kid.  So seriously, stop reading right now if you don't want to hear about how great my daughter is or if you're going to hate me for it because she was amazing.

Here's a few highlights:

*Slept for an hour and a half on our flight down to Florida in Daddy's arms - this meant that not only was it 'easier' for us than entertaining her the whole time, but also that I got to chill and read my book and watch TV.

Sleeping baby on plane = very happy daddy & mommy

*When she got up - was perfectly happy to eat some snacks, flirt with the people sitting behind us, and color with her crayons.
* Although we messed with her typical schedule BIG TIME - she napped when we needed her to and went to bed at night (usually 2 hours after her normal bedtime) with no fuss
* Napped in her jogging stroller by the pool/beach - amazing because we got to hang with family, with each other and enjoy the pool and ocean without having to go back up to the room
                                                                                                          

*We ate dinner out both nights we were down there and she was amazing - ate her food, walked around a bit, but no fussing - We were totally prepared to be "those" parents who have to leave, but we weren't

*Our flight was delayed four hours -this meant that we were in the airport for close to 6 hours - this could have been a nightmare, but she was such a trooper -ran around with some other little kids and took an unexpected nap at a later hour which really helped keep us calm about the whole situation.

*Napped for almost the whole flight home and when we came home at 1:30am(!) she still went back to sleep for the night.

*Even though we had to wake her up in order to go upstate Saturday morning, she was such a happy girl all day, going from hand to hand and enjoying all the extended family's company.

Please don't hate me - I know we're lucky and on days when I forget or I'm feeling frustrated with her, I'll remember how great she was for us when we messed with her!

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the support that holds me up....

This week hubby had an overnight business trip and I don't know why but this time I was feeling  nervous about being home alone with Jenna.  Maybe it's because for the last week or so hubby has been doing bedtime and I've taken the backseat....but who knows? I've been alone with her before (he's had other trips) and she's a really good girl - even at night, but for whatever reason, I was feeling a little nervous.

And this is why we moved where we did...to be close to family. My parents are spitting distance away and my brother and sister in law are a five minute ride.  So on a weeknight like this, when I needed wanted some extra hands, I had them.  My mom met me at the park in the afternoon and helped me chase Jenna around, giving me a little bit of a break.  Then came back to my house with my dad and helped me do all the bedtime stuff...and once J was in bed, I had dinner with them.  And when I say had dinner with them, I mean that they brought over food and my mom set the table and did the dishes (to my protest).  It was really nice being treated as a "guest" in my own home.  I didn't need them, but it was really nice to have them and  I think Jenna liked the extra company too - went to bed without a hitch and even slept a little later...hmmm maybe I should have them come over during the week more often....

Mornings are my Favorite

I know...it sounds crazy, but they really are...It's the only time of the day when all three of us are together. 

Let me take you through a typical morning in our house...

We hear Jenna stirring anywhere between 5:30 and 6:30 am. This is hubby's time alone with her - He gets her up, changes her and gives her milk and plays with her.  She's usually in a super cute mood in the morning and I think it's great daddy-baby time for both of them.  I usually get up around 7 ish (unless of course, like this morning Jenna comes running in to wake me - which is really cute so I don't mind) and get myself showered, etc.  Then the three of us get breakfast ready and eat at the kitchen table. 

Messy breakfast eater!

With our schedules being what they are right now, this is the only meal all three of us eat together.  I grew up in a house where eating together was sacred and I want to continue that tradition with my own family.  I would like it to be dinner time (which it is on the weekends), but with Jenna going to sleep before 7 most nights and hubby not getting home til 8:30 - it's just not a reality right now. Morning continues with getting Jenna dressed while Mike does his bathroom stuff and then we all hang out in our bedroom while Mike and I finish getting ready and Mike heads out around 8.

It sounds like we have a get-up-and-go kind of morning routine, and I guess it is, but I think we try to maximize how much time we get to spend together as a family.  Even if that means I get up earlier than I have to and Mike and Jenna keep me company in the bathroom while I shower. It's worth it for some quality family time.

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Expert vs. Novice

My husband is one of the funniest people I know.  He keeps me laughing so I keep him around...

This week he gave me a "day off" - after my ranting about how I don't get any "me" time - he gave me the day to do what I wanted (more on that later)

But in talking about my day, our conversation went like this:

Me: I think I should take your hours for my day off - leave at 8 am and come home around 8 pm.  This way you get a full day with Jenna and when I come home I expect her to be sleeping, the house neat, and dinner on the table.  Like I do for you.

Him: (sounding a little nervous) Really? All day? What are you going to do with all that time?

Me: I'm sure I'll figure it out.  You'll see how exhausting it is to be in charge of her all day - even when she naps well.

Him: You know you've had all year with her to know her routine and grow with her.  If I was put in charge for the full day it would be like having a novice player on the expert level...you can't expect him to succeed.

Me: So I'm an expert? And you're a novice?

Him: Yes and Jenna is like level 20.

Me: I'm an expert!

*I was pretty much kidding with him from the start - I just want a few hours to get a mani/pedi and buy some bras! I kind of want to have lunch with the two of them since it happens so infrequently...but I liked being called an expert!

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Mission Impossible

I had a plan for today...that's a joke right? Plans are a joke...But I made one anyway: Jenna would take her morning nap, we'd go to the park, have some lunch, go to our open play time at the gym, and then she'd take her afternoon nap (now here's the where it went wrong), during which I would go get a pedicure (afterall, it's flip flop weather and my toes are GROSS!) This is when Jenna laughed at my plan...well, not really, but it felt that way.  This wasn't that crazy of an idea by the way, she usually goes right to sleep after gym time - like I can barely keep her up goes to sleep....But today I had a plan and I guess Jenna wasn't down with the plan....

I walked and walked and paced back and forth outside the nail salon trying to get her to nap - she was scratching at her eyes, but kept popping back up...then here's the kicker...a lady with a dog walked in front of the stroller and Jenna throws herself up tosses the pacifier out of the stroller and points going "doggie! doggie! doggie!" I seriously wanted to kill this lady for walking in front of us!

So no pedicure for me - instead angry diappointed mommy walked Jenna back home and put her in the crib where she's sleeping now - Too bad the pedicurist doesn't make housecalls...

Everything is just a phase...

I am hesitantly writing this because...well if I say it (or write it) out loud then I may jinx myself...but I think our whole "cry before bed until I throw up" phase is over.

A little recap of Jenna's sleeping patterns...always a pretty good sleeper (luckily), but when she was around 6 months old, we Ferber-ized her (sounds so clinical) and it worked - then at around 10 months things started to get a little crazy again and we tried to Re-Feber-ize her.  Well at this point I guess she got pissed because if we let her cry - she puked...all over...and if we let her cry again...she would puke...again. It was terrible and sad and frustrating all at the same time.

(More detailed versions at Pity Party of One and Losing my Cool)

Puking Baby + Messy Floor + Crying + No Sleeping = VERY STRESSED mommy & daddy


Since Freber was obviously not working - we did some no-cry sleep solutions.  Which basically meant I hung out in her room til she fell asleep (usually around 10-15 min, but some nights longer).  Recently she seemed to be almost ready to not have me in there...and the last few nights I've actually walked right out after a kiss and a tuck into her sleep sac.  Listening carefully to the monitor (cause god knows I do not want to hear crying which can lead to puking) and all I've been hearing is some whimpering and then silence...Amazing!

Seriously, the puking was a really really really hard thing to handle - hopefully that phase is over...but as anyone with kids knows it's just a matter of time before there's something else...hmm what's next?!!?

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Babysitting

Just had a conversation with my hubby re: babysitters...

We have a baby who goes to sleep (pretty consistently) around 7:00.  She also (pretty consistently) sleeps until 6:00.  I know I know - we are very lucky.
Here's the catch - we were invited to a friend's house for dinner Friday night - we're talking BBQ!! To apartment dwellers like ourselves, this is awesome! Our friends have a kid who also goes to sleep around that time, but of course he'll be upstairs in his room, sleeping while we have dinner/drinks. 
Now J is not wonderful about falling asleep outside her normal routine (I guess that's the catch with consistency - you can't be inconsistent!!)
So I ask my parents to babysit Friday night so we can have a night out.  No big deal.  Grandma and Papa are happy to do it - Mom will come over early, hang out with J and then help me put her to bed...When hubby gets home, we'll go out.

I'm excited - I call Mike and his response?!!? "I don't think it's fair to make them just sit in our house while she sleeps."  Ummm that's what babysitters do! What are we supposed to do? Keep her up so they can have some quality time with her even though that probably means a very cranky baby on Saturday?  He said we'll discuss it later.

I think he's nuts. I'm going to win. I would like a night out with some friends.  Mike loves to BBQ. I think this is a no-brainer...

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I don't get kids...

I really don't - how come something that works for days, maybe even months one day stops working or takes an hiatus?!?!

Our bedtime routine has been working for a really long time - she's not a cry-it-out kid, she's a no-cry sleep solution kid! Basically we do our nighttime thing, same thing every night - dinner, bath, lights out, some Yo Gabba, milk and off to sleepy land with me sitting in her room and quietly leaving when she's settled...but tonight - apparently Jenna had other plans and forgot to fill me in!

I mean no real big deal - she did finally get to sleep but almost an hour after her typical time and with much more fuss than usual....

I just don't get kids!