I have the butterflies in my stomach.
I just bought my first day outfit.
I'm reading and highlighting the curricula.
I'm making spreadhseets.
I started having the nightmares.
Yup...I am going back to school!
This year for the first time in almost 18 months, I'm heading back to work. I've gone back and forth about how I feel about going back a thousand times over, but now that it's really here, I feel good about it.
My thoughts behind the decision: I knew that we were going to put Jenna in some sort of half day (without mommy) program at some point over the next few months. I think as an 18 month old, it would be good for her to have some time with other kids and with another adult. And I couldn't rationalize staying home and having her in a half day program. That didn't make sense to us financially or logistically. So me going back to school was the decision we made.
So we put Jenna in daycare at the beginning of August to get her (and I) adjusted to this new routine. And I could not be happier with the results. Jenna is so happy there. It's week 3 right now and she waves bye to me and runs into her classroom. She came home saying her colors and tons of words that I know I did not teach her. She's in a great mood before going and in an even better mood when I pick her up. Before my eyes she turned into a little girl.
Anway, back to me and back to school. The past few weeks, I've been talking more about work, about my students, about my classroom, about my curriculum, about trips, and about fun things I'm going to do...and less about naps, and parks, and eating, and diapers. I've been doing some work every morning to prepare for the school year, enjoying some me time in the afternoon, and picking Jenna up after her nap and snack.
I get to put on my mommy hat and enjoy, really enjoy, every minute with her. I'm finding that I'm doing a better job at making my time with her quality time. When I pick her up, I shut my phone my computer, and my brain to everything but her. In the morning, before I drop her off, she has all of my attention. I actually think I may be a better mommy for it.
Yesterday, I went clothes shopping with my mom(not much of my work wardrobe fits me anymore). I put on an outfit and I said "This is Mrs. K---. This is not mommy." For the first time in 18 months, I have another purpose right now other than being a mommy. Mommy will always be my number one job, but I'm looking forward to having another purpose. I love my job and I'm good at it and I'm excited to be challenged and work hard and be successful at something other than motherhood. And I like who I work with.
I saw my friends from work the other day, and it made me even more confident in my decision. I am a lucky girl, because I work with amazing people. They have been not only my co-workers, but my friends for a really long time. I've grown up with these women and I know that if I'm having a bad day or miss my little girl, I'll have great support at school.
Jenna is so happy in her school and I'm going to be so happy at mine.
This is a blog hop, so click and join in on the Back to School fun!