I'm going back to school again

I have the butterflies in my stomach.
I just bought my first day outfit.
I'm reading and highlighting the curricula.
I'm making spreadhseets.
I started having the nightmares.

Yup...I am going back to school!


This year for the first time in almost 18 months, I'm heading back to work.  I've gone back and forth about how I feel about going back a thousand times over, but now that it's really here, I feel good about it. 

My thoughts behind the decision: I knew that we were going to put Jenna in some sort of half day (without mommy) program at some point over the next few months. I think as an 18 month old, it would be good for her to have some time with other kids and with another adult.  And I couldn't rationalize staying home and having her in a half day program.  That didn't make sense to us financially or logistically. So me going back to school was the decision we made.

So we put Jenna in daycare at the beginning of August to get her (and I) adjusted to this new routine.  And I could not be happier with the results.  Jenna is so happy there. It's week 3 right now and she waves bye to me and runs into her classroom.  She came home saying her colors and tons of words that I know I did not teach her. She's in a great mood before going and in an even better mood when I pick her up. Before my eyes she turned into a little girl. 

Anway, back to me and back to school.  The past few weeks, I've been talking more about work, about my students, about my classroom, about my curriculum, about trips, and about fun things I'm going to do...and less about naps, and parks, and eating, and diapers.  I've been doing some work every morning to prepare for the school year, enjoying some me time in the afternoon, and picking Jenna up after her nap and snack.

 I get to put on my mommy hat and enjoy, really enjoy, every minute with her.  I'm finding that I'm doing a better job at making my time with her quality time.  When I pick her up, I shut my phone my computer, and my brain to everything but her.  In the morning, before I drop her off, she has all of my attention.  I actually think I may be a better mommy for it.

Yesterday, I went clothes shopping with my mom(not much of my work wardrobe fits me anymore).  I put on an outfit and I said "This is Mrs. K---.  This is not mommy." For the first time in 18 months, I have another purpose right now other than being a mommy.  Mommy will always be my number one job, but I'm looking forward to having another purpose. I love my job and I'm good at it and I'm excited to be challenged and work hard and be successful at something other than motherhood. And I like who I work with.

I saw my friends from work the other day, and it made me even more confident in my decision.  I am a lucky girl, because I work with amazing people.  They have been not only my co-workers, but my friends for a really long time.  I've grown up with these women and I know that if I'm having a bad day or miss my little girl, I'll have great support at school. 

Jenna is so happy in her school and I'm going to be so happy at mine. 

This is a blog hop, so click and join in on the Back to School fun!

I am so Not Mom of the Year

When I saw this contest going on from the ladies at Life Without Pink and the Momologist, I had to join in on the fun.  Over the last almost 16 months, I have had countless moments where I've said "Well I guess I'm not winning the mommy of the year award!"








It's all in good fun, but when I started thinking about specific instances where I was certainly not mom of the year - the few that came to mind quick all had to do with Jenna falling - from high and low.  I'm laughing writing this, but really, it's kinda not funny.  But I guess since I know she's okay, I'm allowed to laugh about it...

First the low...
At two weeks old (she was super little) we had her in bed with us.  God we were just trying to get some sleep and at that point the only way she would sleep was on our chest.  Well that's where she was, and I must of been completely sleep deprived, because I forgot she was there and rolled over and she dropped off my chest from the bed onto the floor.  Panic insued. Pediatrician called and visited.  She was/is fine.  I didn't tell anyone about this for months because I was afraid they would say I wasn't a good mommy. 

Now the middle...
You thought the bed was high...umm no...Jenna's fallen from higher.  Right around her first birthday, we went with some friends to the Long Island Children's Museum.  Great place for kids of all ages.  Well, they have this toddler room where the kids can run around and climb on things.  In the room they had this awesome real life motorcycle. I really wanted to get Jenna up there (you know where this is going right?!?)
Well we got this adorable picture first....

And then she went falling off the motorcyle.  You see my arm on the right, well she fell left, and what you don't see in the picture is some small steps next to the bike (so kids can walk up to it).  Yeah she fell off, bounced down the steps and landed with a thud.  I swear  I was watching her - I have proof - my hand is holding her!! But she fell, this time from pretty high up.

 

And the high...

If you're a reader of my blog (and you should be if you're not already), you know this story.  It was a few months ago, and we were staying at our friend's HOUSE.  We live in an apartment.  I thought Mike had her, he thought I had her. Well the stairs had her.  All we heard {he was in the bathroom, I was in the bedroom} was a thud and screaming. Jenna fell down a pretty substantial flight of stairs.  Thing is, I have no idea if she walked down a few and then slid down the rest, or if she slid on her butt, or if she flipped down them...it's probably better off.  Cause either way, she fell down a flight of stairs. It was a holy shit moment if there ever was one. 

 

Thank god our kid is tough because she's taken some good falls.  It's not that we don't watch her, it's just that I'm not mom of the year!

Join in the fun! Why should you get the Not Mom of the Year Award??