Princess Problems

We're having some princess problems over here. My daughter is OBSESSED with princesses - now I can (kind of) deal with the movies and princess toys. But she takes it to the next level...she insists on wearing a "princess dress" (which is really any dress) every.single.day.  This drives me INSANE.

skirts are ok too!

First of all, I am the furthest thing from a girly-girl ever. My idea of an outfit is jeans, t-shirt, and flip flops with my hair in a messy pony tail. I refused to wear frilly underwear as a kid and in every school picture I'm wearing sweat pants.  (When I asked my mom about this, she said I refused to wear dresses - karma's a bitch!)

 But J has taken it to another level - the biggest insult she can give another little girl is "you are NOT a princess!" And she'll tell you this if you're not wearing a dress. I don't know where she got this from...but it's too a point where she says she's not a princess if she's not wearing a dress. At school, she had a full on meltdown when they had to change her clothes and all they had were pants. 
 This kind of breaks my heart. I want her to feel like a 'princess' no matter what she's wearing.  And we try to enforce this when she's playing soccer (and can't wear a dress) by saying how she's still a princess even in her soccer jersey. And when she has swim - obviously, she's a swimming princess.
Are we doing major psychological self-esteem damage here? Is this just a princess phase? Will she ever wear pants again? Are there any princesses that wear pants?
My husband makes fun of me, he thinks this is "my" issue - not hers. My response to him?
"You are NOT a prince!"

My "Obsessions"

C'mon...look at the cuteness!

Here's the thing about having a second baby...for us, our family feels complete.  Some people have that feeling after one kid, some not until four kids, but for us, it's two.  Our magic number is four.  We feel like things are even - we can do man-on-man defense, there's an equal ratio of adults to children, and in our family, girls vs boys is an even matchup.

That being said, I am completely obsessed with my son.  On a side note - I don't get "obsessed" with anything (or anyone for that matter) - I actually hate the word "obsessed" and think it's dumb when people use it, but for the first time, I really feel this way about another person.  This little man is just so freaking cute, there are times when I literally just can't take it! I find myself so much more patient with all things "baby".  Even those middle of the night feedings, whether they  last for 20 minutes on a good night and on a bad night...well...we all know how those nights go. I find that I'm "enjoying" his babyhood much more than I did with my big girl. There's a whole slew of reasons for this "obsession" I suppose.  First, this is and always will be my baby.  And maybe he'll be spoiled (although I hope not), but I'm the baby of my family and I think I turned out ok. Second, he's my little guy.  I feel like there's this bond between mommies and their sons.  Maybe it's because I know one day he's going to marry someone and I'm going to be the proverbial "mother-in-law" so I guess I'll take all the love he's giving me now.  Third, he doesn't talk back to me...yet.

My beautiful big girl!

 The other thing that surprised me when I had a second child was how much  more I'm enjoying her now that there's a baby to compare her to.  I mean she is so independent.  I tell her to get ready to leave and she's able to put on her clothes, socks, shoes and jacket and is at the door waiting for me!  She's able to get snacks out of her cabinet and ice cream out of the freezer, by herself.  She puts her dishes in the sink, can eat by herself...I mean the list goes on and on. She's ridiculously amazing.  Now, for the sake of transparency, she is far from the perfect toddler.  She puts up a fight for lots of things that I think are ridiculous, and has definitely been dragged out of the park kicking and screaming (literally) but I still appreciate all that she can and does do.

For the first time since becoming a parent 3+ years ago, I feel like I am really, truly enjoying both of them for all that they can do and all the potential that they both have.

A Big Girl First

At 2 1/2 years old, I've been out of the "firsts" game for quite a while...she's been walking for well over a year, talking for a while now, and eating by herself for months and months.
But today was another kind of "first" - a big girl one.
Her first haircut.
I never thought I'd be the mom who went to the "kid's place" and got the certificate with the hair clippings in an envelope and the fancy hair cut seat....but I was (am).  And it was soooo worth it.
I think I have a little fashionista in training - because she loved every minute....
Some highlights:

It was so much fun - Makes me look forward to our future spa days.

getting dressed

Things around here have been very very tired lately.  For whatever reason, our usually decent sleeper has become nocturnal.  Literally.  So Mike and I have been running on less than empty.
Just to prove my point, here's a recent conversation we had after I picked J up from daycare:

Me: Hey - I just got J in the car, and honey, you forgot her pants.
Mike - What do you mean? Wasn't that a dress?
Me: No...not a dress - her panties (we're using that term by the way) are sticking out the bottom. She was like that all day.
Mike: I took her on the subway too...sorry...my fault.

I guess I'll be laying out clothes the night before from now on.

I so wish I had a picture of this so-called 'dress' but I was too tired to take one.

Florida's Rules

Last weekend we went on a business trip  vacation to Florida.  We were there visiting my husband's grandfather, J's great-grandpa.  He lives in one of those 55-and over developments that exist (in my opinion) only in Florida.  I visited my own grandparents in these kind of places when I was a kid.  And I remember my parents always being 'on edge'.  It never felt totally relaxing and I never knew why...until I went with my own bundle of joy.
Here's a sampling of some of the "rules" that we had to deal with  follow:

1. Do not have fun.
2. No child under 3 is allowed in the pool.
3. All children must be fully potty trained in order to use the pool.
4. No food or beverages near the pool area.
5. Any questions? See rule #1.

I spent the weekend:
1. Lying about my 2 1/2 year old's age - I even had her saying "I'm 3!"
2. Trying to explain to my toddler why she couldn't have a snack by the pool.
3. Although she's mostly potty trained, I had her in swim diapers - I had to lie about this as well - when asked - which I was.
4. Arguing with an 80+ year old woman about these rules.

Before the "No fun" rules!

Some asked me why we didn't just go to the beach - and it was 30+ minutes away and I don't know if you've ever been to Florida in August, but it's ridiculously HOT.  To drive thirty minutes and spend an hour at the beach with all the gear just wasn't worth it.

On a sidenote: I think that the next rule should be: Over 80 must wear a diaper...I'm just sayin'.

My Girl Wants to Potty All the Time!

Starting solids...sleep training...moving to a big girl bed....potty training...just some of the major transitions in the past 2 and half years of my daughter's life.  Each has been difficult and each has had its moments of pride and joy.

This past week it was Potty Training time.  Why I chose this weekend? I don't know.  But I read about and asked every person possible about the 3 day potty training boot camp and felt like I was ready.  I wasn't. Just like sleep training is not for everyone and certainly not for the weak at heart, neither is this type of potty training.  But I really just wanted to get it over with quickly and with as little pain as possible.

On the first day, upon wakeup it was undies only. No diapers. God I miss diapers. I rinsed out more undies than I can count and was more frustrated than I've felt in a long time.  But we were done with diapers and that was that.  I had to stick with it. She went pee pee when prompted, never unprompted and had many accidents (some minutes after going on the potty - which was soooo frustrating).  I gave her a Skittle when she went on the potty - but she could take it or leave it - which I guess is a good thing. Day 1 sucked. period. Stuck in the house on a beautiful day with a kid pissing all over the place. awesome. I called my friend (who did this with her son) and asked her why she didn't warn me how horrible it was.  But we survived.  Barely.

It was that night hat I told Mike that I am taking FULL CREDIT for this achievement (once it actually happens) and that he is responsible for potty training baby #2 (he agreed).  Because honestly, I can't do this again and I'm writing it here so I remember that I don't have to do it again. (Funny Mike side note: in the morning, I was in the bathroom and I hear "Daddy pee pee. Pee pee Daddy." So I'm waiting to hear the running footsteps.  And you know what I hear? Nothing.  Mike did nothing. Really? UGH! I have to teach kid how to go on the potty and the other kid how to take a child to the potty!)

Day 2 was so much better.  She went whenever she was prompted. (never not prompted) But get this - no accidents! We even left the house (twice!).  Once to take a walk and buy ingredients for some Yum Yum Brownie Muffins (we used yams instead of pumpkin - delish!) and once to buy some fruit.  Toward the end of the day, we even went to our local pool (in swim diapers - not ready for that yet!) and had a nice end to our day. I felt like the tide was turning and maybe yesterday wasn't a huge waste of time.

Day 3 and 4 were weekend days- in retrospect, this was probably not the best weekend to start potty boot camp, because we were upstate for the day on Saturday and Sunday was Mike's triathlon.  But Saturday was ok.  Definitely some setbacks (read:accidents) but nothing horrible.  She did a great job considering we were far from home in a new place.  The issue was that she wasn't pooping.  She was telling me she had to poop, but it wasn't happening.  There were tears (hers and mine) but we stuck with it.  My thinking was that I was still putting her in diapers at night, giving her ample time to poop in there if she needed to.  But she didn't.
Then Sunday, I made the decision to stay home instead of rooting Mike on in the city to get J back on potty track.  I'm glad I did.  She had no accidents and went consistently and pooped (finally!).  She even stayed dry at Grandma and Poppa's house.

Monday, she went to school and when I picked her up....she was still in the same outfit!!! No accidents all day or at home. Success!!

I''m not saying my kid is fully potty trained. But I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself right now (oh, and of course I'm super proud of J for being such a big girl!)

What has my life come to?

This is what my DVR looks like on any given day: 

Yup - only 2% full and only with ridiculous kids shows....

Please tell me that your DVRs are just as pathetic!!

It's ON!

I try really really hard not to be competitive with other moms.
It's really hard because I am an extremely competitive person.

And unfortunately for my daughter and my wallet, my competitiveness has just set in.

You see, lots of J's little girlfriends are potty trained.  J is not. She was doing well at daycare for a while, but now...not so much.

So now it's GAME ON!

I spent the morning at Target and Michael's picking up panties (back to that word in a minute) and incentive items so that we can begin the process.

"Incentive items - arts & crafts crap that I know she'll love

She doesn't like M & M's so I'm going to try Skittles

Based on lots of friends tales of potty and advice, I'm going 'all in' on this one - In a few days, we will be saying goodbye to diapers! And from what I understand, once you say goodbye, there's no turning back.  So I have to mentally prepare myself for this....the mess, the inevitable frustrations, the constant reminders...but I'm ready.

Panties or Underwear??

My biggest dilemma: Do I call them underwear or panties.  J's a little girl - I think the word 'panties' is appropriate - some think it's creepy.  I call women's under garments 'underwear', but something about Dora and Disney screams "panties" to me...Mike thinks that I can call them 'panties,' but he can't because he'll sound like a dirty old man.  Thoughts???

For the love of movies

My mom asked me the other day if she could bring J to see Winnie the Pooh and at first I was little unsure about it - she's not even 2 1/2 and it could go very, very wrong.  But I looked it up and it was only 69 minutes long and the theater it was playing at is known to be generous with refunds or free passes if things don't go well.

So this past Tuesday, after J's nap, we ventured to the movies.  When we got into the theater, she made friends with the girl in front of us and they spent the 10 minutes before showtime running around the theater.  I thought this was perfect since she had to stay in her seat for over an hour.

She went to sit in her seat and it pretty much closed in on her, so she sat on my lap for the movie.  (Side note: My kid DOES NOT sit on my lap EVER!)  And she loved it.  I know this because she laughed when it was funny, said "oh no!" at the appropriate times, and the kicker...she cried (real tears) when it was over. Seriously. Cried for Pooh. "I want more pooh, mommy!"

And of course, since we were with grandma, more pooh she got! No, not a double feature, but a brand new 'play a sound' book.  We went immediately from the theater to Barnes and Noble so my mom could run in and keep our little girl happy with "more Pooh!"

I know it sounds silly, but I was so proud of her (and secretly so happy that maybe we can rely on movies for those rainy days now!)

You call that Well-Adjusted?!?

This weekend, we had a babysitter for the first time.  For those that know me well, this is kind of shocking, since I am pretty willing to leave my kid home while we go out - but in truth for the last 2+ years, she's been left with only family members, with the exception of one time (thanks, Kelli & Tara!)

So, needless to say, we were a little nervous apprehensive about the evening.  We stayed close to home (just in case...) and only went out for a couple of hours.

When our babysitter arrived, I gave her all the important information and then I gave her the list of "what to do when we leave and she cries." This included: ice pops, nail polish, beach balls and Dora band aids - I wanted to make sure she had an arsenal of super-fun things to distract J from her parents departure.  (I was especially worried about the actual act of leaving since Mike had just walked in from work and we were literally going to just head back out - so no time with Daddy).

I told J we were about to leave - and she started to pout, so I said to her "go ask A-- if she'll give you an ice pop" - cue distraction.  We left and from outside the apartment we didn't hear anything.  And when we got home, the babysitter said that she literally did not cry at all.  Awesome! We have such a well-adjusted little girl - woo hoo!!

And then the babysitter left.  Cue WATERWORKS!! Seriously?!? You don't shed a tear for us, but for brand new cool, young babysitter, you cry?!?  So well adjusted my ass.

Working It Out

Sometimes we have to just let them cry and tantrum.  J is in the midst of being two and asserting her independence.  Her new thing is "I want to walk" and by walk she means run like a crazy person down the street.  There's a street by my house that literally has the nickname "The Boulevard of Death" and has traffic signs like this by the crosswalks:

So needless to say, the other day, after an unusually rough night's sleep, this is the street that J wanted to walk aka run down.  Normally, I let her walk/run a little ahead of me...but only when it's safe.  This street is obviously not the place for that.  I chased her down...I spoke to her sternly...and then she dropped to the floor in a tantrum.  Awesome. Yup, I was that mom, letting her kid "work it out" on the busy sidewalk.  And after 3 minutes (even though it felt like a lifetime), J calmed herself down, stood up and when I said "Are you ready to walk with mommy?" She said yes and held my hand.
Sometimes, they have to work it out for themselves.