Balancing Act

So I completely lost my shit putting J to bed the other night when she gave me a hard time and my husband was at the gym training for the NYC Triathlon.  I didn't lose it with Jenna, I lost it with my husband...basically the minute he walked in I left the premises.  Literally. Took a walk to cool off and let Mike get her to bed.  Of course she went to sleep within 15 minutes for him after crying for me for 1 1/2 hours but who's counting.  On my cooling off walk, I called my my mother - she's one of three people in my life that can talk me back from the edge (my hubby and BFF Tara being the other two).  After 40+ years of marriage, my mom is pretty good at giving marital advice.  I was going on a rant about how he gets some downtime everyday communting to and from work and then takes an hour after work to go to the gym most nights. Basically she told me to communicate with Mike about how I need some more time for me. Now most of the time, I welcome his hour at the gym because Jenna is sleeping and I get to kind of unwind before he gets home.  But on occasion Jenna does not cooperate and it makes it difficult to deal with knowing that he's
working out (if he was still at work I wouldn't be as upset - but the fact that he's doing stuff just for him pisses me off).

He texted me that she was sleeping, I ended my call with my mom and went home and we talked and talked and talked about it.  We came to the conclusion that I need to get some time alone on the weekends (during the week is a bit difficult) and I need to be better at communicating that.  We compromised on some things...we're going to try having him come home straight from work and help me out and then go back out to the gym.  Now this will mean that we may not be eating together at night and I may be going to sleep alone, but it's only temporary until the race is over (in July). I respect that he really wants to do the race this year (it'll be his 5th) and he wants to be able to finish (it would be horrible if he started the race and couldn't finish).  Our other compromise was the purchase of a jogging stroller. This way on the weekends, he and Jenna can go for a run and I can have some time alone - kill two birds with one stone - he gets a workout and time with Jenna and I get some time alone.  I think it'll be worth the $400 price tag.  And who knows, maybe I'll even start jogging with her too!

I guess we'll be forever trying to figure out this balancing act of parenthood, marriage and individuality!

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