Good Recovery

Disappointment...last week was the first time I felt this emotion about my daughter. It was unwarranted and actually really immature and stupid of me to feel this way in the situation...but still...it was there.

J is an extremely outgoing little girl.  She likes to put on "shows" with her cousin during family dinners and is usually the "loudest" singer in her class shows.  But last week, something was different.  We had a small stepping up program from her class - they were to perform 3 or 4 songs and just look adorable.  I knew every word to these songs because that's pretty much all she would sing around the house for weeks.  She knew these songs. I was so excited to see her perform with her friends.

And then the performance came - lots and lots of people filled her classroom (more than are typically there for performance) - I made Mike leave work and come because she's usually such a "star" at these things.  First song...great - in Chinese nonetheless! Then the kids started melting down and then J melted down.  And then I f**ed up.  She came running to me with tears and instead of saying "don't worry about it - you're doing great." I said something along the lines of "Look at all your friends singing. Why aren't you up there with them?" Her tears kept coming. She stayed on my lap for the remainder of the show. And I was disappointed. Not my best parenting moment that's for sure.

After it ended, Mike (the better parent in this situation) told her how proud he was of her and how great she did.  And she smiled. I looked at him like he was crazy and then he and my friend pulled me aside and told me (in not such nice words) that I was the crazy one and I should get myself in check. She is three years old. He was right. I was wrong.

Yesterday was her ballet recital.  Mike couldn't come so I was going to be the only parent there, so I knew I had to be better. And I was nervous for her.  Nervous that she would get too scared to perform.  But this time, I was confident that I would be proud of her no matter what.  And of course, since I was so worried, she gave her best performance. She danced beautifully. Followed the teacher's every instruction. From plies to first position to pointed toes.  She was a perfect, graceful ballerina.  And I teared up with pride as I watched her.  And this time I told her over and over how great she did and how proud I am of her.

I'm hoping that my little bout with disappointment doesn't rear it's ugly head again...well, at least until she does dumb teenage things.

To photoshop or not to photoshop

You know, I always find it weird when a simple comment that someone makes to you in passing sticks with you for a really long time.
This is the comment (almost verbatim) a friend of mine made to me almost a year ago after emailing me pictures of our kids out together: "I hope you don't mind, but I photoshopped the mark on J's face so you would have a nice picture."

You what?!?

You photoshopped my kid's face?!? Why would you do that? I don't even remember this "mark" on her face but I'm sure it was one of many since she's a kid and an active one at that...

And so that I would have a "nice picture"?? Umm now I have an incorrect picture of my kid because now I will always remember that there was a mark on her face that someone felt was so offensive that it had to be edited out.

J at her 2nd birthday with a rash on her face

(not edited!) A reminder that she's allergic to penicillin!

Just curious what other parents out there do...do you edit? or leave your kid as-is??