Friday, June 11, 2010

The Outside Looking In

Every once in a while I feel like an outsider to my former life.  I love where I am right now but every once in a while - like an itch you can't reach - I remember the person I used to be and can't believe we're the same person. 

Let me just say that the majority of my close pre-Jenna friends do not have kids.  So our lives are just different.  I had a conversation with a friend about how Mike and I don't really go out that much anymore and she said 'well none of us go out that much anymore.' And I kind of laughed because she had plans that night to go out with a bunch of girls for dinner.  I said everyone may not party as much anymore, but I'm definitely in a place where even a dinner out is kind of a big deal and a lot of work to get done.  Between babysitters and bedtime and where's Jenna going to be - sometimes most of the time it's just easier to stay in.

For us, weekends are important, it's the only time that the three of us get to spend together and we try to make them as fun as possible.  Our weekends are more likely to include spending time with family (who let's be honest want to see the kid), or at the playground, or the Botanical Gardens or the Children's Museum of Manhattan or places like that as opposed to our friends' parties which usually involve afternoon drinking and eating. Trust me when I say that a day like that sounds amazing, just not necessarily in the cards for us right now.  Asking grandparents to babysit all afternoon into evening on a Saturday so we can go get plastered just doesn't seem realistic right now.  It's just a new reality that we're getting used to. 

Don't get me wrong, I really do love where we are right now, it's just that many of our friends are not in the same place, so at times, that can be difficult.  I know some of my friends are going to read this and I hope they don't take it the wrong way because I really do miss spending a lot of time with them and I hope they don't get upset when we have to miss things.  And it's not that we're using Jenna as an excuse - it's just that our priorities are completely different than they were 2 years ago.  Everyone says that when you become a parent "everything changes." And I expected for me to change but I think they forget to tell you that some of those changes can be really hard on all the relationships in your life - from your husband to your parents to your friends...

I guess it's really about trying to carve out time for everyone and everything - family, friends, kids...and most importantly yourself - it's just that sometimes it's easier said than done...

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