Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hindsight is 20-20

I have the "things we're going to do differently the second time around" conversation often...Mainly because the first time around, you really have no clue...I mean I tried to do everything right - I went with my sister in law to register (she has an adorable 3 year old who I adore) for all things baby, I had her and my mom with me when I picked out my baby's layette, and I consulted several, no make that many, books on pregnancy, mommyhood and breastfeeding.

Although I'm about to write a whole list of things I'm going to do differently with our second child (hoping we have one) - I do think we're doing all right with our first...but here it goes...

  • I will have a baby nurse - this was a very foolish oversight on my part. Many people, my mother included told me to get one. But for whatever reason, I chose not to. BIG MISTAKE! Being pregnant = wonderful for me...Actual Delivery = not so bad...Bringing J home = OH MYGOD! Those first days (actually weeks) were terrifying - baby and mommy cried a lot and my wonderful husband didn't know what to do. Thinking back, if I had a woman living with me for a week or two to help me get adjusted I think would have been a god send. But we did survive and we did stop crying...but I will have a baby nurse with baby #2.

  • I will not order my layette from Denny's. It is a beautiful store, they have wonderful things, and they allowed me to order a boy and a girl layette and hold them til baby was born. They also allowed me to have some newborn clothes and some 0-3 months clothes and when J was born they gave me the girl box with the appropriate sized items for her. My layette cost over $1,000. Yes, that's right I paid over a thousand dollars for clothes that my daughter barely wore (babies grow really fast). About 6 weeks into J's little life, we realized that we did not need some of the stuff that we ordered. I called, they said come in and return. I went in (tired and cranky and barely functioning) and they gave me store credit for what the items were selling for now because I did not have a receipt with me - that meant that I got a $16.00 credit for items that cost me over $100. I am in their system - they still call me - I will never buy another thing in their store again. My husband won't even let me use the store credit. Second kid - we'll pick up some things at Macys - they're wonderful with returns and carry Carter's. Sorry Baby #2 - no name brands for you (unless you're a girl and you can have all J's stuff).

  • I will not use my family's hand me down bassinet (it's been in the family for over 50 years). J never slept in it - I mean never even as a newborn when they sleep for 18+ hours a day. J slept in her bouncy seat until we finally moved her into her crib. I will buy a co-sleeper. Attaches to our bed, eye-level with us and roomy.

  • This may controversial, but I will probably not attempt to breastfeed. My relationship with breastfeeding is a tumultuous one. I did my best, really I did, but my milk did not come in, my baby did not latch correctly, and my nipples bled more than I ever thought possible. Breastfeeding for me was horrible. My baby would cry, I would be the only one that could feed her and it wasn't working. The next time around, I will try a hospital grade pump in the hospital and will consider renting one for a few months. But I don't know that I ever want a baby's mouth near my boobs again.

  • I will do my best not to buy anything from Babies R Us. Similar to Denny's - terrible return policy...did not even let me exchange for a different size without a receipt - REALLY?!? Do they think that new mommies are keeping every gift receipt given?!! And do they really think that every person gives a gift receipt - they're crazy! Buy Buy Baby is my favorite - great return policy and they take Bed Bath & Beyond coupons!

  • This brings me to my last point...I will keep all gift receipts! I will make a folder and stuff them all in it so that I do not have some of these issues the second time around...

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