Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Are We on the Same Page?

People who think having a baby is going to make your marriage stronger are just plain stupid...My husband and I don't really fight...never did - fighting was just not part of our relationship. Even now, we don't fight often, but when we do it's usually about our parenting - we're on the same page about most of the big stuff - but with some of the little things it feels as though we're in different chapters - sometimes I wonder if we're even reading the same book!

Case in point...
We've been having some sleep issues over here the past couple of days (maybe it's been weeks - I'm so tired I can't keep track). So we decided we need to go back to some tough lovin'. So basically our plan was that I'd get J to bed (which is typical of most nights since Mike works late) and I'd do the wake ups in the middle because when she sees her Daddy - it's only fun time in her mind. And Mike would take her in the morning for her usual routine. Last night I was so proud of myself - although our wind down time took a lot longer than usual - I got her sleeping in her crib around 7:00. Mike came home and I told him our plan: if she wakes up I'll go in - I am not taking her out of her crib or feeding her - I'll let her know I'm there (since apparently this is all about separation anxiety) but I'm not going to cave. Around 1am she's screaming from her crib...we let her cry it out for a bit and then I go in - I'm literally standing in her room for close to an hour watching her cry saying "Mommy's here" "It's time to sleep" "Lay down" in my quietest, calmest voice. Finally she gets herself back to sleep. Let me say here that it is super hard to watch your baby cry and crawl around and beg for you to pick her up. I was so proud of myself for not caving in. I came back to bed and told Mike how proud I was and that she's back to bed and how I really think the tough lovin' is going to work!

Then the morning comes...Mike does morning duty - around 5:50am J wakes up (pretty usual wake up time for her)...and this is where our plan (or at least what I thought it was our plan) goes downhill. Mike says he's going in to get her - which typically means change her diaper, give her a bottle and play with her until I get up and we all eat breakfast together.

I wake up around 7 to find J and her daddy sound asleep together on the couch...don't get me wrong it's very cute and cuddly - but really?!?! I could've done that at 1am and not had to watch her cry for an hour...Needless to say I wake Mike rather abruptly and ask him what he's doing...stupid question gets a stupid answer "sleeping". Thank you, Captain Obvious!
I pretty much ball him out on how he just undid everything that "Mean Mommy" was trying to work on last night - I tell him how we're trying to teach J that we sleep in our crib at night - not on the couch in the morning!
My husband's response? "I didn't realize that was the plan."

Well, now you know...

1 comment:

  1. it is so hard, the whole sleep thing. Its heartbreaking to hear them cry, I cant believe you stayed in there and watched it (I cant, I have to pick him up). I'd say its time to put on your ipod and not listen to it or go in there.

    And btw, I have heard my husband say, numerous times, "I didnt know that was the plan" wth? are they not listening... no they are not!

    Good luck tonight. Keep us updated on how it goes.