'WE' are now 4

As a mom of two kids, I'm always grappling with the guilt of whether I'm giving each child enough attention.  We have purposely kept J in full daycare so that I can give A (almost) the same amount of attention during the day.
So this weekend, we took J to the Big Apple Circus.  It wasn't the place to bring little babies, so we had my parents watch him for a few hours so we could take J ourselves.  If course I thought this would be a great opportunity for J to have us all to herself, and get some quality time with both of us.  And the weirdest thing happened...
We had a crazy busy day (which, unfortunately or fortunately, is how we roll around here, especially in the summer).  Started with Mike doing a race, me taking the kids to a friend's house for breakfast, J's swim lesson, breakfast at the grandparent's house, then the pool for some swimming before circus time.  When we left the pool, Baby A got in the car with my parents while we set off for our car and the circus.  And, J started to cry...bawling...."Where are you taking Baby A?!!? Why isn't he coming with us?!? We're going to the circus! Grandma, Papa don't take Baby A!!"

Mike and I looked at each other and in that moment, although my daughter was crying, I couldn't be happier...'WE' are now a family of four...and she didn't get why A wouldn't be coming with us on a family trip to the circus.
And I couldn't have more love for my beautiful big girl, who takes her tole as Big Sister very seriously.

Obviously, we explained why he was going with Grandma and Papa and we had a great time at the circus.  But as soon as we got in the car, she asked where A was and if we were going to get him.  It's almost like she knew something (someone) was missing...and the when we got to my parent's house to get him, she accused them of "taking her baby A and now it was time to give him back."

 Maybe I can start to let go of some of my guilt...maybe...